17
Jul 11

Thailand 2010: Back to Bangkok — Chinatown, Patpong, Platinum Mall and Chatuchak Market

Date:  26th November 2010

After a good night’s sleep, I went downstairs to have the buffet breakfast at the hotel. Then spent an hour browsing the internet on the guest computer at the lobby. After feeling quite relaxed, I checked out as the clock struck noon.

I took a moped taxi to the bus station (฿50) and bought a ticket for a bus heading to Ekamai bus terminal in Bangkok (ticket cost ฿113).

Pattaya to Bangkok highway house Thailand

Since it was dark when I left Bangkok to come to Pattaya, I sat by the window to see what I missed

In the bus, I also wondered where to stay in Bangkok. I wanted to stay on Khao San Road, Bangkok’s popular backpacker hub. I really wanted to check it out as it’s a preferred joint for backpackers, but unfortunately located on the other side of Bangkok (some even call it Old Bangkok) — which isn’t connected via the skytrain service (BTS). Trouble is, tomorrow I am to meet up with a friend arriving from Bangalore and the day after, I had a ticket for the Jay Park Fan meet in Siam Paragon Mall. Commuting back and forth by taxi, that too with Bangkok’s mid-day traffic was the last thing I wanted to do in the last 3 days left in Thailand.

Pattaya to Bangkok concrete highwaysContainer cargo Pattaya to BangkokPattaya to Bangkok hills ThailandPlus Mall Tesco Lotus Bangkok highway ThailandPattaya elevated expressway BangkokBangkok to Pattaya highway apartment buildingElevated expressway to Bangkok templePattaya to Bangkok highway buildingBangkok highway Thai village river

Yamaha factory outskirts Bangkok Thailand

Yamaha factory

Nissan factory Bangkok highway outskirts Thailand

Nissan’s factory

Metro Caterpillar factory Bangkok Thailand

Caterpillar’s factory

CPF factory Bangkok highway Thailand

Err…someone else’s factory

Bangkok Thailand highway expressway

Central City mall Bangkok Thailand

One and half hours later, we were in Bangkok city

Traffic slowed down (a lot) from here on. It took half-an-hour more for the bus to reach Ekamai bus terminal. The terminal is on Sukhumvit road and is easy to get to because the BTS station (also named Ekamai) is right in front of the bus terminal. So if you are staying in the Sukhumvit or Silom area, and want to head to Pattaya, don’t go to Mo Chit bus terminal, head to Ekamai instead.

In the end, I decided to stay on the Sukhumvit side itself, which meant Thai House Inn again. I paid for two nights in  advance and checked into the same room I stayed before. I probably should try and find another place to stay in since Thai House Inn isn’t the classiest of places, but at ฿700 a night, the proximity to Nana BTS station (a minute walk), for a single guy there’s no better deal like it anywhere else.

Absolut Iceberg lounge Siam mall Bangkok

Absolut had set up a ice bar at Siam Center

Siam Paragon mall interior Christmas tree decorations Bangkok

Siam Paragon mall levels lights

Decided to go for a movie to pass some time

Krungsri IMAX Siam Paragon Bangkok Thailand

Watched ‘Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1′ in IMAX

Post-movie (which I thought was a bit of a drag), I decided to go to MBK.

Siam Paragon food court aquarium Bangkok

The Siam Ocean World aquarium is beneath the food court

Siam Paragon Christmas mall decorations

The mall was all decked up in preparation for Christmas

Siam Center Christmas decorations Thais Bangkok

Even though less than 1% of Thailand’s population are Christians

Siam Center mall fountains Bangkok

Ribbee Botique ukelele paradise shop Bangkok Thailand

There’s an exclusive ukelele store in Bangkok

Siam pedestrian skywalk Thais Bangkok

But as I tried to get to MBK via the pedestrian overbridge, none of us were allowed to… by the police

Sukhumvit road Siam MBK junction Bangkok Thailand

I looked down and I saw the roads all clear, which usually implies some VIP was passing through

I got back down to the street to see if I could cross the road but there were policemen there as well. I asked them who was passing by, and they said: “The King”.

Tidbit of valuable information when in Thailand. King Rama IX is the most ‘beloved’ man in Thailand. I put beloved in quotes because there is a law which makes it a criminal offense to say anything bad about him in public. So you have no choice but to praise him. His photos are everywhere in Thailand and his birthday is a national holiday. He is credited for developing Thailand, his influence has stopped many political coups and reportedly, he’s the richest royal in the world. (But my point is, if people truly love him, why have a rule criminalizing lèse majesté?)

Sadly for the Thai people, the King hasn’t been in the best of health lately and isn’t seen much in public because of that.

Thai king cavalcade Siam junction Bangkok Thailand

The King’s cavalcade zipped past us and in a matter of minutes, we were allowed to move again

I obviously didn’t get a glimpse of King Bhumibol Adulyadej, but then again, nobody would have. Nobody could identify in which car the King was. Maybe it was a security measure.

Bangkok buildings air condition vents

Anyway, I was hungry by this point and decided to go back to Siam Paragon because their food court has better options for fast food.

Mosburger rice burger Bangkok Thailand

Tried MOSBurger’s rice burger (yes, that’s rice pressed together to make the ‘buns’) :)

In the evening, I decided to check out Bangkok’s Chinatown.

Getting to Chinatown Bangkok by taxi

Took a taxi, cost ฿60 from Siam Center

Chinatown at night Bangkok Thailand

Took around half and hour to get here

Bangkok Chinatown at nightBangkok Chinatown alley street foodChinatown Bangkok street lightsChinatown Bangkok fruit vendors night

Roasted Chicken Chinatown Bangkok Thailand

As with any Chinatown, plenty of food to go around

Chinese shops Chinatown Bangkok ThailandChinese store food items Bangkok ThailandChinatown fruit vendors eateries Bangkok Thailand

Chinatown spring rolls Bangkok Thailand

Yum

Chinatown signs Bangkok Thailand

From all I could tell, there wasn’t much else to see besides the well-lit shop signs

Chinatown shop signs neon Bangkok Thailand

I kept walking down

China Town sign Bangkok Thailand Chinatown lights Bangkok ThailandChinatown main road BangkokWhen I was doing my research, I read there is even a small community where Indians reside. You could call it Bangkok’s ‘Little India’ as Singapore’s popular community is called, but don’t try asking for it here. I tried it with some Thai locals, and they looked at me with a smile… which implied they had no clue what I was talking about. I wanted to find the area mostly because there is a large gurdwara here in Bangkok (since the Indian community here are predominantly Punjabis). I knew asking for a ‘gurudwara’ would get me more puzzled stares but I did ask if anybody knew where the ‘Indian temple’ was. No luck with that either.

Chinatown alley night Bangkok

I kept walking in search of ‘Little India’ but no signs of anything remotely Indian

But just as I was about to give up and walk back, I saw a woman who looked kinda Indian (I’m guessing she was a second generation Indian resident of Thailand) and asked her where the gurudwara was. She told me I needed to get to Pahurat Road, which wasn’t very far from here. I thanked her and noted down the name of the road.

Chinatown building Bangkok Thailand Figuring the gurudwara would be closed to the general public at this time, I decided to come back the day after. I hailed a taxi and headed to Patpong.

Patpong is famous for two things: one, it has a night market; two, it also houses Bangkok’s red light district.

Patpong night market entrance Bangkok Thailand

The Night Market

There wasn’t anything seedy about the place (at first)

Patpong night market sign Bangkok Thailand

Patpong night market stores Bangkok

The usual offerings sold here, nothing special

But as I went to the side street to get a glimpse of what the other stalls were selling…

Patpong night market Kiss bar Bangkok

…you could see the other side of Patpong

Patpong night market tourists

Which made me wonder if the ‘night market’ was just a cover up :)

Patpong night market live bar Bangkok

There are a few good bars with live music though

Patpong night market tattoo studio BangkokLike on Pattaya’s Walking Street, here too you will find a few touts soliciting tourists (quite aggressively) to come watch a peep show. Most them say it’s free but having read people’s experiences on Tripadvisor, I knew these are just tactics to pull you in and then slap you with a huge bill as you leave.

One of the touts, even held my hand and dragged me into one such place. Figuring I wouldn’t be coming back to an area like this again, I followed him. He was rather in a hurry saying the ‘ping pong show‘ would start soon. He led me upstairs into a bar where the girls and the mamasan welcomed me in. There weren’t many others in and the setting wasn’t what I was expecting. While I was expecting a more quiet, dark and sensual setting, this joint was just another typical low end bar with dim red lights, and where every song plays at 2x speeds blurts out from the sound system.

As soon as I was seated, I was surrounded by 3 or 4 smiling girls all of whom tried to chat me up, and when it came to ordering drinks, there was no menu. I ordered a vodka drink and insisted on knowing much it cost. The waitress said ฿100. Fair enough. I also made it very clear I was told this show was free and that I wouldn’t have to pay anything to see it. The mamasan assured me with a “yeah yeah”.

When the performance did begin, it was the amusing act of seeing the two girls shoot objects like bananas, darts (at a balloon), and ping pong balls (of course) — all using her nether region. And that’s exactly what it was, amusing… it was the least bit erotic, surely not in the setting I was in :) The most amusing act was when one of the performers pulled a series of blades on a string out — and she cut a paper using the very same razor blades to prove they weren’t blunt. Now, only women know the true potential of their inner workings, but I’m sure even women in far more respectable professions would squeal if they saw this. As a guy, my face looked more like this:  :-? None the less, I had to praise these performers for their, erm, talents.

After 15 minutes and my drink nearly done, I had seen enough and wanted to leave. I could see the other patrons arguing with the mamasan over their bills and I knew what was coming my was as well. Besides the ฿100 for my drink, I wanted to tip a ฿100 each for the two performing women, so that was a total of ฿300. The bill they handed over?

฿3000.

I told the mamasan I wasn’t going to pay it and ฿300 is all she will get. She raised her voice (she had to, they wouldn’t turn down the crappy music) and threatened to call some men to rough me up if I wouldn’t pay. I replied: “Call them”. When she did, I knew things were only getting easy for me. She spoke in English to her Thai “baddie” saying there is an Indian who refuses to pay and that he better come. Now if there is one thing I’ve learned about Thais is that, you’ll never see one Thai speaking to another Thai in English. Very few in Thailand know how to speak English, that too fluently. So I knew this was just an act.

After she hung up, she said they’re coming. I replied: “Okay, I’ll wait”. I could see some of the working girls try and hide their smiles, so I knew I was going to win this one. After waiting around 2 minutes, the mamasan finally said: “Okay, give 1000!”. I said: “No, 300″. More standing still ensued. Finally she gave up and said: “Ok give!”. I handed her the ฿300 and told her ฿100 each were for the two performers. She didn’t say anything and I walked out.

And that was it :)

In hindsight, it made me wonder if I should have gone for all this in Pattaya’s Walking Street as the Tourist Police was right there and by now, I’m sure they heard countless such experiences from other visitors. But even if this happens to you, follow the same advice: just keep your foot down and refuse to pay. What’s the worst they’re going to do? Stab a tourist?

Walking out, I noticed there wasn’t even a name for this bar, so it surely was one of those clearly intended to scam people and only remain operational by paying off the right authorities.

Thaniya plaza Japanese clubs bars Patpong Bangkok

This alley looked like it mostly catered to Japanese

What I just experienced didn’t change my opinion of this wonderful country. If your sole purpose of visiting Thailand is just to hang out at such venues, you will most likely leave with many such stories. Even if you don’t, as with any other country in the world, shit happens — you just have to be on your guard.

The so-called ping pong show is one of those “When-in-RomeThailand” things-to-do. Many tourists, men and women alike, are eager to see it. In fact it was a girl friend of mine who told me “not to miss it,” with a laugh. Now I know why — it’s more a laugh than sensual :) Trouble is, many use that eagerness tourists have to run scams like this.

Sala Daeng BTS station Patpong Bangkok

Sala Daeng is the name of the BTS station if you want to get to Patpong

Patpong doesn’t seem as big a seedy place, not based on some people’s descriptions calling it Bangkok’s largest red light district. Maybe there’s more to it, who knows, I wasn’t bothered to explore anymore of it now.

Thaniya Plaza clubs bars Patpong Bangkok If you plan to come to Patpong just for the night market, don’t. There’s nothing here you can’t find anywhere else in Bangkok for the same price (or maybe even cheaper).

I took the BTS back to Siam.

Siam Absolut ice bar concert Bangkok Thailand

Absolut’s open-air concert event at Siam Center

Once back in my area, I decided to grab dinner first and then go back to my room.

Nana arab restaurants Bangkok Thailand

Nana has a lot of Middle Eastern restaurants, which was great for me (given how much I miss this cuisine)

Foreign exchange shops Gulliver's Nana Bangkok

You get really good foreign exchange rates here, far better than the rates the banks in the malls give. I exchanged a few dollars.

Sky Inn Nana Sukhumvit Bangkok Thailand

Picked up a few shawarmas and a drink from 7-11 and called it a night

Date:  27th November 2010

Today, I met up with my friend Sawmteii and her friend, who had just arrived in Thailand. We met up at the Siam BTS and since it was their first time in Bangkok (and came with very clear intentions of shopping – a lot!), I showed them around the malls.

Krispy Kreme Siam Paragon Bangkok Thailand

I couldn’t fathom the locals’ desperation to bag Krispy Kreme donuts. There were huge lines everyday at the Siam Paragon outlet.

Krispy Kreme doughnuts sold Bangkok streets

So much was the demand, there were street hawkers who sell them in ‘black’ outside after doing the tough job of waiting in line just to bag these boxes of doughnuts.

After Siam Discovery and Siam Paragon, we walked towards Petchburi Road.

Sukhumvit road Bangkok city traffic skywalk

Pedestrian overbridge Bangkok city ThailandBangkok city river boat ThailandOn Petchburi road, the girls wanted to check out Platinum Mall, which claims to be Thailand’s largest fashion mall.

Platinum Mall shoppers Bangkok Thailand

Boy, was it crowded inside

Eight floors of fashion goodness… well, mostly for women anyway. Hardly anything for men in here.

Platinum mall shops Bangkok ThailandDespite advising the girls to keep all their shopping towards the end of their journey when they return to Bangkok, they couldn’t help but feel like kids let loose in a candy store :)

Who can blame them? Even as a guy, I could appreciate the stuff being sold here. Really good looking dresses and accessories at prices anybody can afford. Dresses which would easily cost upwards of Rs. 1000 in India could be had for Rs. 500 or less. You could buy one, two, three, ten or more — and prices vary accordingly.

Platinum mall women fashion clothes Bangkok Thailand

A lot of bulk buyers too

We spent quite some time in here. And when I saw ‘we,’ I mean Sawmteii and her friend Mimi. I loitered around wondering if there was anything for guys. It wasn’t until we got up to the 4th floor that I found a store selling some pretty nifty t-shirts.

After walking past pretty much every floor, the girls decided to dedicate their last few days in Thailand in here and we went up to the 6th floor to have lunch at the food court.

Post-lunch, I took the girls to Chatuchak (disembark at Mo Chit BTS).

Chatuchak park way to market Bangkok Thailand

We sat at the park for a bit before embarking on more walking through hundreds of shops

Sorry, make that thousands of shops!

Jatujak weekend market is the largest flea market in Thailand and sees most shops open on Saturday and Sunday (It is open on weekdays too, just not every shop).

Chatuchak market entrance 6 Bangkok Thailand

Took a deep breath and went in

Chatuchak market crowd Bangkok I have already written a lot about JJ market in my first visit.

DHL courier shop Chatuchak market Bangkok

In case you buy more than you can carry… there’s always DHL

Palm fap chatuchak market Bangkok Thailand

Palm… fap?

Doner kabab Turkish ice cream Chatuchak weekend market Bangkok

Plenty of food to energize you for all the walking you’ll be doing at Jatujak

Bags shop owner Chatuchak weekend market Bangkok

The famous bags salesman calling every foreigner “Michael” was still at it in 2010 :)

Chatuchak weekend market home furnishings Bangkok

The reason I like JJ market a lot is because they sell *everything* that can be placed inside a house

Chatuchak weekend market lights store Bangkok Thailand

Bought three kinds of lamp shades

After much walking around and being clueless as to where exactly we were (it will happen), eventually it was time for the puppies to come out. (Real puppies). You’ll only see them being sold once the sun sets — which means they’re probably doing it illegally.

Sawmteii puppy Chatuchak weekend market Bangkok

Sawmteii couldn’t help but pick one up

And at the prices the puppies were being sold for (around ฿3000-฿5000 depending on the breed), she didn’t feel like putting them down either. We were seriously talking about how to bring dogs via airplanes.

Eventually we decided to call it a day.

Choconana vendor Chatuchak market Bangkok

Had one of this: cold banana on a stick dipped in chocolate and sprinkled with nuts

Mo Chit BTS station at night Bangkok Thailand

Mo Chit BTS station

We got down at Nana so that the girls could check out my area (they were staying a few BTS stations further down). Got some currency exchanged and had dinner at an Arabian restaurant before wishing each other goodnight and parting ways.

Tomorrow was going to be my last full day in Bangkok.

Next posts in this series:

Thailand 2010: Gurdwara Siri Guru Singh Sabha, Sampeng Market, JJ market (again)

Thailand 2010: Damnoen Saduak Floating Market tour, Cobra show… and leaving Bangkok

Previous posts in this series:

Thailand 2010: Pattaya — Beach road, Viewpoint, Jomtien Beach, Walking Street

Thailand 2010: Golden Triangle in Mae Sai; Chiang Rai’s White Temple (Wat Rong Khun)

Thailand 2010: Heading to Chiang Rai by bus, Wat Jedyod and Golden Clock Tower

Thailand 2010: Last day of Loi Krathong; Sunday Grand Parade (Day 4, Part 2)

Thailand 2010: Chiang Mai Zoo (Day 4, Part 1)

Thailand 2010: Chiang Mai Loi Krathong celebrations; first Grand Parade

Thailand 2010: Chiang Mai cooking class; Loi Krathong celebrations in Mae Jo, Sansai

Thailand 2010: First day in Chiang Mai for Loi Krathong; driving up Doi Suthep

Thailand 2010: Arriving in Bangkok and preparing for Loi Krathong in Chiang Mai


02
Feb 10

Thailand 2009: Day 8 (Part 2) – Chatuchak Weekend Market, Bangkok

As soon as I was done with lunch, I headed to the nearby BTS station (this stop was called Nana) and stood in line to get coins.  The fares range from 10 baht (Rs. 13) to 60 baht (Rs. 83) and it essentially works like so:

- get 5 and 10 baht coins from the manned counters

- each stop is number coded, so you first choose your destination by selecting the number on the machine

- put in the required number of coins

- your card is issued

You need the card to get past the gates and only then can you go up to the platform. Once there, you generally don’t have to wait long. I had to get down at the last stop heading north on the Sukhumvit line, Mo Chit, to get to Jatuchak park.

Bangkok BTS skytrain inside

Siam Paragon, Bangkok

Taken from inside the skytrain on the Nokia E72

It costs 60 baht but my god! The time you save! A ride which would have taken me an hour in Bangkok traffic took me just over 10 minutes. I can’t wait for Bangalore Metro to open! This service is such a time-saver.

Chatuchak Jatujak park Bangkok

Jatujak Park in Bangkok

Chatuchak (also called Jatujak or even JJ) Weekend Market is located near Jatujak Park.

Chatuchak Jatujak park Bangkok

Walk ahead and you enter the weekend market

Now, I’m not much of a shopaholic but while I was doing my research for my trip, JJ Weekend Market claimed to be the largest flea market in the world with thousands of stalls! I wasn’t going to count but it still intrigued me enough to go check it out.

I didn’t even know if there even was a “main entrance” so I just entered one of the lanes.

Chatuchak weekend market

She was promoting a product

Chatuchak weekend market

I immediately realized why JJ was popular. You get everything! From clothes, fashion accessories, home furnishings, cutlery, food, fake brands, stationary, cool crap… wholesale as well as retail.

Chatuchak weekend market

He was drawing quite a crowd

The guy in the pink shirt you see above was selling every bag inside his store (even the big ones) for 199 baht (Rs. 270). He kept calling every non-small eyed guy (including me) “Michael” and pointed towards his store in the hopes of luring us in. The tourists did find it funny hearing him go “M-O-I-kaal!” and I did step inside to see what the fuss was all about. There was a fairly large trendy looking Puma bag (good looking fake) I thought of picking up but I reminded myself that just because it’s cheap doesn’t mean I have to buy it. Especially if I’m really not going to use it. So I just walked away without buying it.

Which was a good thing because just down the road there was another store selling bags for 189 baht (Rs. 260) — but without any fuss [picture can be found below]. I realized what a clever marketing move it was that the 199 baht store was employing. Get people’s attention with a lot of noise and the notion that everything must go with 199 looking like the rock bottom price. Once people are in, take a hit on bags that may actually cost 250 selling for 199 baht but make up for lost profit by selling bags that may actually cost him 100 baht for 199 there by evening it out anyway. Clever.

Chatuchak weekend market singer

Chatuchak weekend market lampsChatuchak weekend market

Chatuchak weekend marketChatuchak weekend market

Tip: Try and do all your shopping from Bangkok. I realized Bangkok is the hub and main distribution point for pretty much every other city in Thailand. Take for example the cool looking lanterns you see above. I saw the silver one first on the streets of Ao Nang — for around 1600 baht (Rs. 2,200). Obviously I didn’t buy it because I thought it was quite pricey. But here? Prices start from 300 baht (Rs. 410).

Chatuchak weekend market shoes

Just because JJ calls itself a ‘flea market’ doesn’t mean you don’t get genuine products here. There are authorized dealers for original Converse shoes (very popular in Thailand) and several other brands. But the thing is, I’d still pick up a good looking fake for hundreds less. The imitation is just that good!

Chatuchak weekend market rockersAnother cool aspect of JJ I really liked was the sub-cultures that existed within the place. You had various sections dedicated to different fashion. A series of stores specializing in hip-hop fashion, gear for rockers, reggae, etc.  It was really cool.

Chatuchak weekend market girl

That's no wig, that's really her hair. She let me touch it.

I really want to profile the various sub-cultures at Chatuchak the next time I come here.

So did I shop much at all? I had already picked up a funky T-shirt (for 90 baht/Rs. 125) and I was looking for a Def Leppard t-shirt at all the stores selling rock gear. Some stores had genuine second-hands (the official merchandise but already worn) but those were selling for over 1000 baht (Rs. 1,300). Now, I love me some Def Leppard but I wasn’t going to spend that kind of money for a second hand t-shirt unless it was worn by Joe Elliot himself!

I had spent nearly 3 hours here and I could have checked out more stores but a lot of them began closing by 6pm itself.

Chatuchak weekend market

I decided to leave JJ and so… puppiiiiiesssss!

Chatuchak weekend market puppies

Awwww... yet so cruel

They even had puppies for sale! I felt sad seeing them being sold like this. But when I heard 3000 baht (Rs. 4,100) for some breeds, I was more “Hey, that’s not bad” than “Awww, poor thing”.

Chatuchak weekend market food

Those are quail eggs

Chatuchak weekend market bag

The store that was selling bags for 189 baht

There was a lot of stuff I could have bought from here, especially clothes and shoes. But I had already spent enough and my bag was full enough.

Also, don’t cave in and splurge at JJ thinking everything is cheap here. Some items you’ll get in air-conditioned malls such as MBK Center for more or less the same price. So do go around Bangkok a bit before you decide to spend.

Bangkok city night trafficBangkok city night traffic

It was past 8pm by the time I finally left JJ market. Yet another place I’m definitely coming back to.

I took the BTS back to my hotel room and called it an early night after dinner as I had woken up very early today.

Nana BTS station Bangkok skytrain

Other posts in this series:

Getting ready for my trip

The day I left for Thailand

Day 1 – Suvarnabhumi, Pantip Plaza, Fotofile & MBK

Day 2 – Bridge over the River Kwai and Tiger Temple (Wat Pa Luangta Bua) in Kanchanaburi

Taking the bus to Chiang Mai from Bangkok

Day 3 – Maesa elephant camp, ‘long-neck’ tribe village near Chiang Mai

Day 3 (Part 2) – Chiang Mai Night Market

Day 4 – Doi Suthep, Chiang Mai… and back in town

Day 5 – Leaving Chiang Mai for Phuket

Day 5 (Part 2) – One night in Phuket

Day 6 – Leaving Phuket for Ao Nang by bus (via Phang Nga)

Day 7 – Touring Koh Phi Phi (Maya Bay, Monkey Island & Bamboo Island)

Day 7 (Part 2) – Exploring Railay, Krabi

Day 8 – Flying from Phuket to Bangkok

Day 9 – MBK, Siam Paragon… and ‘little Arabia’?

Day 10 – Grand Palace and the Emerald Buddha

Day 10 – Wat Pho (the Temple of the Reclining Buddha) and finally leaving Thailand

Figures, lessons learned, and things I couldn’t do

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